Love is Suicide

An amazing revelation has come over me.

As much as I wish for love, as hard as I look. I'm beginning to feel like maybe it won't happen. Someday possibly, but at the moment, all my attempts at any form of relationship with a woman just falls to the floor like a crumpled piece of paper. After I spend so much time carefully folding and creasing said paper into a swan. It returns to me in a crumpled up ball, and I've tried. I must not give up, I suppose.

This is so hard though, I haven't had to jump into this sort of thing in a long long time. And it's not easy getting back into it. I will continue trying however, there are many many women out there, many of whom which I would love to be with and vice-versa. I just need to find one of them, see how it goes. And move on from there.

Until next time,

Keep you chin up
A smile on your face
It'll be worth it
It's going to be great

Bum

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Life's a Beach

Been so long.

Life's dramas and stresses crashed down upon my soul and I stood there in it's wake. Staring it down as it fell upon me. It slowly passed, and it caused pain and torment, but I did not budge. I have not given up on life, and I shall never give up on life so easily as that. After the waves were merely puddles around my feet, I did not turn around to watch it leave. I moved forward. And I will ever move forward from here on out.

I began to walk down my beach, barefoot, sand squishing through my toes, the sounds of waves erupting behind me. I made it past my storm, and no matter how minute it may seem in the coming years with a whole life ahead of me. It was harsh, it tore away at my skin, and suffocated my mind. And it seems like it isn't ready to give up on me, but it will not succeed. I will prevail and I will stay ahead of it from here on out. I look ahead to the distance. There are trees. Groves of them, and suddenly I feel calm inside, my emotions flood out of me in great waves of relief, and I feel fine.

Before I enter the forest, I ask myself whether or not I should look back once more at the beautiful nightmare I had left behind me. But the trees, so full of life and a newness that I was eager to discover were too enticing. And besides, it's not as if there was anything left for me from the beach other than that torrential storm . And no matter how pleasing that beach may have been at one point, there are new places to see. And oh how I want to see these new sights, take in their beauty, feel at peace and be happy again.

In my life, I will encounter many people. I will love. I will be loved. I will make love. And I will be happy. Life's too short to ruin things so early in the beginning. For that beach I left behind. I hope one day, it is able to be as beautiful as it was for me to somebody else who will enjoy it as much as I did. My future lies elsewhere. And as I begin to step into the forest, I raise a hand to my side and flash the peace sign over my shoulder to the beach. And I raise my other hand as I enter my new surroundings, as my other drops, and I wave to the new faces. And for the first time in a long time, I smile with true happiness.

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